this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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