your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
