I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
the day after is always just damage control
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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