i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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