Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
