i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
