xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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