If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
