in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
