Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
