You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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