the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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