What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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