my sisters under your porch take her home
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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