We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Randomize
