i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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