even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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