Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
