no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
