Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
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Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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