i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
