Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Randomize
