Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
worst night to have a conscience
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
