There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
