Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
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