just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
and she was petting her beer can
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
