i think my mom watched the whole time
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
did you just send me my own nude
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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