instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
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