A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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