Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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