Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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