dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
