I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Farmville is her only friend.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
