i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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