there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
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