Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
