Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
