I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
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Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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