You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
