It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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