neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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