his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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