I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Randomize
