My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
