Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
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