Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize