I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
