I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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