Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize