I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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