'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
