He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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