South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
i think my cat just said my name.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
you made out with another girl for some wings
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