i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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