She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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