Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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