I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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