idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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